All those fairy tales about “Wells of Allsparks” and “Creation Matrix’s” is just a bunch of hooey. What really happened on Cybertron was that some horny dude downed a bottle of muscatel and then proceeded to make sweet sweet forbidden love to the tailpipe of a random motor vehicle. Then nine months later a bouncing baby Autobot was born. Which seems to be what the super-creepy Brazilian guy in the video after the cut seemed to be trying to do.
This video was done for the upcoming film KUNG FURY that, according to its website, is:
An over-the-top action comedy written and directed by David Sandberg. The movie features: arcade-robots, dinosaurs, nazis, vikings, norse gods, mutants and a super kung fu-cop called Kung Fury, all wrapped up in an 80s style action packed adventure.
Amazingly that description is completely spot on based on the clips from this music video that is quite possibly the most gif-worthy thing to ever hit the Internet. And the freakin’ song is actually catchy in that overly synthesized 1980s way that I love so much.
So in this 1993 video from little known electronic-dance band The Shamen featured future buttkicking action tough guy Jason Statham. Can you pick him out of the line-up of extremely 90s costumed folks in the video?
I love Japanese TV shows, they are some of the wildest and sometimes confusing programming in all the world which is evidenced by this clip I stumbled across from a Japanese game show called SING WHAT HAPPENS. The objective of this game is for a male contestant to attempt to get as far through a karaoke song as he can while having his junk manually manipulated by a comely show hostess. Yep, its a karaoke/hand job endurance test. Be warned this clip is decidedly NSFW.
The man behind the cult film THE ROOM has now ventured into the world of underwear design and debuted this nonsensical commercial that looks like an ad for a gay dating website. Love is a big component of these underpants obviously and there is an appearance by a wigged Wiseau that is both odd and magnificent.
I bet all she wanted to do was ask the people in the car if they needed directions or maybe to tell them to take a picture since it would last longer. I do think that if you are going to invade the living space of a wild animal while moving at “drive-by” speed then it would be a good idea to lock your doors.
And of course this idea would come from the pornography industry. Adult video site, Porn Hub is developing a nifty little gadget called The Wank Band. It’s a watch looking thingee that has a who-zam-whatsis inside of it that stores kinetic energy…so instead of just wasting countless hours unleashing the alabaster yak with nothing to show for it but self-loathing and stickiness you can now use your time petting the one eyed porpoise to power all of your electronic devices! And the video they made to describe the gadget is tame enough to share with people and feel sketchy.