True Blood Season Five: Save Yourself



So we’ve come to the end of the road…and Lafayette is feeling pretty damn fine.

Did They Forget This Was The Last Episode of The Season?

This episode included more unnecessary bullshit than any single hour of TV programming has a right to include. We once again delved into the incredibly banal area of werewolf politics that seemed to be completely endless. Long story short: Alcide killed JD to become pack master of the lamest bunch of supernaturals on this show.
Andy’s fairy baby momma gave birth to a litter of hybrid babies on the pool table at Merlotte’s.
And as the first pic in this post showed, Lafayette was extra sassy.
We also were treated to a seriously tedious series of scenes detailing Sam, Luna and Emma’s escape from the Vampire Authority HQ. It was dreadfully tiresome overall with Luna shifting into Rev. Steve’s form then losing control on live TV and outing the vamp plot to take over the world. But it did serve to give us one of the best vamp kills ever when Sam (in the form of a fly) flew into Chancellor Rosalyn’s mouth and then shifted into human form popping the vampire’s body like a water balloon.

R.I.P. Russell

The show opened with Russell soaking up all the fairy juice that Sookie and her cousins could shoot at him and not being fazed one bit. Russ was gearing up to have a veritable fairy smorgasbord when Eric snuck up and staked him, effectively killing one of the best characters this show has ever had.
After Russell’s death, Rev. Steve hightailed it out of there, Eric had to swat Nora on the nose with a rolled up newspaper to make her understand that Sookie was not for feeding, and Jason started seeing really snarky, vampire-hating visions of his and Sookie’s parents. A little later Eric, Nora and Tara joined up with Sookie and Jason to storm the Vampire Authority HQ to rescue Pam and Jessica and try to bring Bill back to the sane side of the tracks.

The Age of Billith

The Bon Temps Resistance staged a pretty simple raid on the VA base. Jason was such an awesome sharpshooter that he was able to singlehandedly hold off a bunch of well-armed (and I would assume well-trained) army of vampire security guards leaving Sookie and Tara to rescue Jess and Pam. This led to Pam and Tara snogging like horny schoolgirls.

Meanwhile Bill was double-crossing Salome. He lied to her about believing Lillith chose her as The One. This allowed him to poison the vial that used to contain Lillith’s blood (and which now just contained regular blood spiked with copious amounts of silver), and incapacitate Salome long enough for Bill to stake her.
Right about then was when Eric and Sookie came in to try and reason with Bill. Bill was seriously power-tripping by then and rebuffed their pleadings. He then gulped down the vial of Lillith’s blood he had stashed and immediately turned into a pile of vampire goo. Sookie starts her blubbering and Eric is in shock…but then Bill rises out of the goo naked as a jaybird, just like Lillith when she first appeared. And Bill looks royally pissed off. Sookie makes her derp derp scared face, Eric yells for her to run and we go to credits.

Hold On, We Aren’t Done Yet
We were treated to an after credits scene (just like they do on all the super hero movies nowadays) with our remaining rebel fighters riding the elevator to the surface. Tara and Pam are making sexy talk and Jason is being extra brain damaged when he mentions Worlow (the scary mystery vamp that killed his parents) out loud and Nora asks him what he knows about Worlow. And now fade to black, the season is over for reals this time.

Final Verdict: I have really enjoyed this season as a whole. Sure there were some really weak areas (Terry’s stupid storyline, spending so much time in the VA chamber, Lafayette’s magical nonsense) but the good far outweighed the bad. Sadly this final episode was like a microcosm of the entire season: a whole lot of crap I didn’t give a damn about taking time away from the one thing that I really was looking forward to. This entire episode should have been 80% assault on the Vampire Authority HQ and 20% all the other stuff. I am pleased with how the cliffhanger has set up next season. Bill Compton as a villain is so much more enjoyable than good guy Bill and a billion times better than romantic Bill. Hopefully he gets to be a true season long Big Bad and doesn’t get miraculously switched back to his good guy persona too quickly. So the VA stuff was fun and the set up for next season is awesome. Its just too bad that so much time was spent on things that didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of storyline. C+

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