Good, Bad & Ugly Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 20% (Critics) / 62% (Audience)
Directed By: Jonathan Liebesman
Written By: Josh Appelbaum, André Nemec and Evan Daugherty
Starring: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner
Studio: Paramount Pictures
Synopsis:The city needs heroes. Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April O’Neil (Megan Fox) and her wise-cracking cameraman Vern Fenwick (Will Arnett) to save the city and unravel Shredder’s diabolical plan. – (Source)

The Good:
smh
I have to agree with Mike. Not a single good thing happened on the screen during this movie.

tmnt2
The Bad:
The design of the turtles was just terrible. They were so damn creepy and it wasn’t helped that one of them was extra lascivious which only served to up the already heightened creep levels. And the voices of the turtles were so annoying especially since they seemed to spend the entire movie talking all at once.
Megan Fox was a blank automaton. She couldn’t muster up one convincing bit of emotion through the entire film.
The action was just overdone and sloppy with more emphasis on making it as loud and bombastic as possible with no eye for making well crafted action set pieces that had any hint of flow or thought to them.

tmnt1
The Ugly:
I hope Will Arnett and William Fichtner got paid obscene amounts of money to be in this and hopefully it was enough that they don’t have to do the sequels. Both of these guys deserve much better.

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Final Verdict: A seemingly never-ending cacophony of loud and obnoxious noise that seemed intent on entertaining small children hopped up on copious amounts of sugar but for those of us past puberty and not chemically imbalanced, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES is just pure torture.

Grade: F

4 comments

  1. jmount43 · August 14, 2014

    Wasn’t Michael Bay involved with this somehow? Does anyone expect anything he does to be anything other than garbage?

    Like

    • Derek · August 17, 2014

      Yep, Bay produced it.
      Originally he wanted the turtles to be aliens. Might have made this crap better now that I think about it.

      Like

  2. Abbi · August 15, 2014

    I haven’t read s single even vaguely positive review for this.

    Like

    • Derek · August 17, 2014

      It was painful to sit through.

      Like

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