The Remains – Good, Bad & Ugly Review

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: NA (Critics) / 24% (Audience)
Directed By: Thomas Della Bella
Written By: Thomas Della Bella
Starring: Todd Lowe, Brooke Butler, Lisa Brenner
Studio: Diablo Entertainment
Synopsis: After a family moves into an old Victorian home, they discover a chest in the attic containing antiques tainted by a malevolent spirit. As the antiques slowly possess each family member, the spirit grows stronger, hellbent on kidnapping the children. – (Source)


The Good:
For about 4 minutes at the end of this movie viewers are treated to some of the most epically bad acting ever featured in film. Brooke Butler, as the eldest daughter of the family being haunted, spent the majority of this movie being a non-entity but at the end of THE REMAINS she was called upon to do more than just play “bratty hormonal teen” she ate all the scenery and proclaimed “I AM AN ACTOR, DAMMIT!” to the heavens with some incredibly (but unintentionally) funny bad acting. Don’t believe me? Then take a look for yourself, folks. Just her trying to light a match (as shown int he above GIF) was the height of physical comedy.

The Bad:
Someone really needed to inform director/writer Thomas Della Bella that doors opening and closing on their own is not the height of scary anymore. Neither is having a shadow speed walk behind a character or a room gets thrown into disarray all on its own. Pretty much every tired ghost/possession horror movie trope was overused in THE REMAINS.

The Ugly:
To borrow a term coined by burnt ember colored used condom Donald Trump: all of the actors in this movie were “low energy”. It was like the director gave them all muscle relaxers before yelling action.

Final Verdict: Ever wonder what INSIDIOUS would have been like if Uwe Boll made it instead of James Wan? Well THE REMAINS is probably what it would have been like. A really bland and pedestrian movie whose only redeeming quality is completely unintentional.

Grade: D-

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