It’s wrestling’s Super Bowl, Oscars, Grammys and Emmys! It is the most anticipated night on the pro wrestling calendar! It’s Wrestlemania 33! And many questions were answered. Did Goldberg continue his streak of ownage against Brock Lesnar? Could Bray Wyatt hold off the challenge of Randy Orton? Would Shane McMahon outdo himself in the reckless disregard for his own safety he has shown in previous events against AJ Styles this year? Would Seth Rollins get his revenge against HHH? Would The Undertaker make it down that extremely long walk way without needing to stop and catch his breath?
Well all those answers await you as well as one man’s opinions on whether those things were good, bad or downright ugly. Click onward, Christian soldier to read my musings on rasslin’s biggest night of the year.
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Smackdown is all about the tie that wasn’t a tie because everybody already saw that AJ Styles hit the floor before Luke Harper in last week’s battle royale. But we all are playing along because wrestling is about suspension of disbelief, baby! Besides there is really no downside to an AJ Styles vs Luke Harper match. Plus as an added bonus we are promised that Bray Wyatt is gonna do some witchy stuff.
This is the “go home” show before the next RAW PPV, Fastlane so matches to fill out the card got announced and the Goldberg vs Kevin Owens title match got a bit more shine. And since we are still on the Road to Wrestlemania we got a bunch of angles advanced on that front too. But the biggest story of the night was the fans of Green Bay WI cementing their place as the absolute worst WWE crowd of 2017 so far. Way to go, cheeseheads! But they fit right in on what was a pretty terrible episode of Raw.
With Randy Orton being too brainwashed to take advantage of his shot to main event Wrestlemania against new World Champ bray Wyatt, Smackdown now has to name a new #1 contender and what better way to do that then through a hastily thrown together battle royal? So who is going to be lucky winner? I would bet every cent I own that it won’t be Apollo Crews. That you can take to the bank.
While most people are still reeling from Kevin Owens betraying Chris Jericho or still ecstatic that Bayley is the new Women’s champ, I only care about one thing with this episode of Raw: watching Braun Strowman and The Big Show go at it one-on-one. Will the Immovable Object beat the Unstoppable Force?
Chubs and chub lovers of the world rejoice! The WWE has decided that it is time for the more ample fellas in the world to get some shine and has decided that Team Chunk 6th man of the Year, Kevin Owens was not enough of a sign of solidarity by being WWE Universal Champion on Raw. Oh no, to make husky fellas all over even more cheery, WWE decided to shock the world and give the World Title to that pugnaciously portly pepperpot Bray Wyatt at this past weekend’s Elimination Chamber PPV. WWE as a company is now the Big & Tall men’s department store of pro wrestling.
Charlotte Flair and Bayley are the main event in a Women’s title match that could see their feud come to a definite end and the bestest friends in pro wrestling, Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho, will be celebrating their bromance in front of the world. On top of that we are all waiting to see Michael Cole will be unlucky in Sin City during his one-on-one interview with the always surly Samoa Joe.