Immortals – Good, Bad & Ugly Review

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 36% (Critics) 57% (Audience)
Directed By: Tarsem Singh
Written By: Charley Parlapanides and Vlas Parlapanides
Starring: Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Freida Pinto, Stephen Dorff
Studio: Relativity Media

Synopsis: The mad king Hyperion (Mickey Rourke), enraged at The Gods for allowing his family to die, seeks revenge on them and the world by unleashing the Titans to destroy them. Only the peasant Theseus (Henry Cavill) stands in Hyperion’s way but will even being under the watchful eye of Zeus (Luke Evans) be enough for Theseus to stop Hyperion’s plans?

The Good:
This movie is beautiful. Tarsem Singh is a master at creating amazing visuals (going back to his early work on films like The CELL) and with IMMORTALS he does not disappoint. The sets and cinematography are so eye-catching that it sometimes is distracting from the movie itself.
Henry Cavill was a pleasant surprise too. I have not seen any of Cavill’s work and hadn’t really heard of the guy until he was announced as being cast as the new Superman but after seeing his performance in IMMORTALS I have to say that Warner brothers did a nice bit of casting. Cavill is forceful and charismatic and should be able to pull off the dual roles of Superman and Clark Kent pretty easily if his work in this film is any indication.
Finally the best part of this film by far has to be the fight scenes. I was not bored by any of the battles or smaller fight scenes in this movie but two really stand out. The climactic battle between Theseus and Hyperion was very claustrophobic and brutal. The two characters battling so fiercely in such tight quarters made for a really heightened sense of drama and the realistic fight choreography served those scenes well. But the best part of the entire movie was the big showdown between The Gods and the Titans. The two groups were so visually different with The Gods being these gleaming specimens that really did look like they came from heavens contrasted wonderfully with The Titans who were more grungy and savage in appearance and demeanor. The visuals coupled with the effects used in those fight scenes made them some of the best I have seen in quite a while.
And Freida Pinto sure is purty.

The Bad:
I don’t know if it had to do with his eating during almost every scene he was in or if it was his attempt at copying Christian Bale’s Batman voice but I had a really hard time understanding what the hell Mickey Rourke was saying for the majority of the movie.
Theseus’ mom was up his ass throughout the entirety of her time onscreen about his getting married and bearing her some grandbabies but she never thought for a second that the fact that the two of them slept in the same room might be a bit of a mood killer for any of the hot peasant girls Theseus might want to bring over? Your mom in the bed on the other side of the room is a guaranteed cock block.
Why were The Gods dressed like they were all on their way to ride on a float at a Gay Pride parade?

The Ugly:
Zeus has to be the “God of Cutting Off His Nose to Spite His Face”. So the guy instates a rule saying Gods cannot interfere in the affairs of man under penalty of death and when one of them actually gives Theseus a timely assist Zeus offs the poor guy. This is stupid for many reasons not the least of which is that not helping Theseus was going to lead to Hyperion releasing the Titans and once the Titans were released it meant that Zeus and his fellow Gods were going to have to get into a big Jets vs Sharks kind of rumble. So killing one of your team before said rumble would leave you undermanned.
Would it have killed Zeus to let up on his (self-imposed) rules and not kill a fellow God until after the big battle against the evil enemy that wants nothing more in the world than to kill every God in existence?

Final Verdict:
Visually arresting, good performance from all of the actors and being chock full of more violent sword fights than you can shake an olive branch at makes IMMORTALS one of the more fun moviegoing experiences of the fall. If you enjoy Greek mythology, sword and sandals epics and was a fan of 300 then I recommend this move wholeheartedly. B-

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