Since the advent of storytelling there have always been tales that called for strapping fellas to don dresses, wigs and make-up so that they could pass themselves off as women. This time honored tradition has been repeated over and over in movies and on TV with one thing staying true throughout…that none of these dudes look like they could possibly be real women yet they fooled so many for so long in whatever movie/show they were in. So with that in mind I give you the list of male actors who would not stand a chance at being America’s next drag superstar!

Dustin Hoffman – TOOTSIE

Dustin Hoffman’s Tootsie looked like she would have been right at home working at Sugarbaker’s interior design firm on DESIGNING WOMEN

Tom Hanks – BOSOM BUDDIES

Hanks’ Hildegard was built like an NFL tight end and rocked a poofy white lady fro that just added to the awfulness.

Jack Lemmon – SOME LIKE IT HOT

I love SOME LIKE IT HOT like a fat kid loves cake but I still have a hard time buying that anyone bought that Jack Lemmon’s Daphne was anything other than a guy in a dress.

Harland Williams – SORORITY BOYS

This movie was terrible but its one those movies that I find myself watching all the way through if I come across it while channel surfing. Harland Williams made a hideous woman but at least the movie played that up.

Wesley Snipes – TO WONG FOO, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, JULIE NEWMAR

Noxeema Jackson was a frightening vision of misshapen womanhood who could only be surpassed in her ugliness by…

Ving Rhames – HOLIDAY HEART

The sight of Ving Rhames in full on drag as chanteuse Holiday Heart. I don’t know who had the bright idea to  cast Ving as a successful drag performer but that person should have their casting director’s license taken away.