Good, Bad & Ugly Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 25% (Critics) / 48% (Audience)
Directed By: Sam Taylor-Johnson
Written By: Kelly Marcel
Starring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle and Marcia Gay Harden
Studio: Focus Features
Synopsis: Literature student Anastasia Steele’s life changes forever when she meets handsome, yet tormented, billionaire Christian Grey. – (Source)

The Good:
To her credit, Sam Taylor-Johnson has made a very nice looking movie. It is stylish and glossy and she tries her darndest to add some cinematic flair to the much ballyhooed sex scenes. And as I have said before, the soundtrack for this movie is aces.

The Bad:
Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson have almost negative romantic chemistry. I have never seen two people who are supposed to have an overwhelming sexual attraction to one another seem so off kilter. In all of their supposed sexually charged scenes the two actors have about as much as heat as if they were discussing the weather.
Also Dornan’s struggles to maintain an American accent while keeping his own natural Irish accent subdued was very distracting.

The Ugly:
Somehow Jamie Dornan was able to be a million times more creepy uttering the absurd line “I don’t make love…I fuck. Hard.” than he has been over two seasons of his playing a serial killer on the UK TV series THE FALL.

Final Verdict: Man, this is a bad movie. Zero chemistry between the leads, sex scenes that are the furthest thing from being sexy and downright dumb dialogue that I am almost certain made me lose a few brain cells. If you want to see attractive people having bondage sex then I suggest you spare yourself 2 hours of torture and however much a trip to the movie theater costs in your town and just do a quick Google search with the Safe Search feature turned off.
Or just go rent SECRETARY; it’s a much better movie in every way.

Grade: D-

2 thoughts on “Good, Bad & Ugly Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.