OK, so we are in the penultimate episode of the season with a multitude of storylines and characters that need to be put in place for the climax of all the doings so far yet this episode only runs 52 minutes. What’s up with that? It’s not like there wasn’t a shitload of stuff that could have been squeezed into that extra 8 minutes especially after the show wasted time on the Herveaux family dynamic for some insane reason. Alan Ball is worse at time management than Andy Reid.
Lilith is Quite The Fickle Vampire Goddess
The Lilith apparition is roaming around the Authority compound telling any and every vamp (well actually only Bill, Salome and Kibwe) in the place that they are the chosen one and urging them to drink all of her blood. Since Bill is completely embracing the whole Jonestown vibe of the Sanguinist movement he takes to the idea of being the “Chosen One” like a moth to a flame. he is so convinced of his new calling that when Kibwe claims Lilith chose him Bill gives him the true death. The Bill/Salome rumble for Lilith’s favor should be interesting to watch.
Ever the overachiever, Bill took time out of his religious zealotry to play stern father figure to Jessica by first ordering her to turn Jason and then dishing out a little corporal punishment when she displeased him. Bill’s descent into full blown ass-holery has been quite convincing and this episode clearly shows that he is a full on convert now and not just playing along until he can figure out a way to stop the Sanguinists.
Young Vamps Be Free Tonight
Nora has come to her senses and goes to Eric. The Marcia and Greg Brady of the vampire set are reunited and it feels so good that they decide to make a little whoopie while trying to figure out exactly how they can escape from the Authority compound.
Opportunity knocks in the form of General Cavanaugh, an emissary form the U.S. government who lays a verbal smack down on the assembled vamp council and basically lets them know that a vampire uprising is doomed to failure since the vamps are helpless during the day. A quick threat about a video of Russell and Rev. Steve eating a frat house leads to Eric snapping Cavanaugh’s neck.
This bit of brutally quick thinking is the opening Eric and Nora need to get away from the Authority under the guise of doing damage control in the aftermath of Cavanaugh’s death. The snogging siblings kill their VA security detail and fly off into the night not to be seen again for the rest of the episode which I found quite odd. So Eric doesn’t think it would be prudent to give Pam a heads up about the shitstorm that is coming? or to warn Sookie that Russell is looking to suck her dry?
Jess and Jason Lying In A Grave…
Dispatched by Bill (along with a couple vamp security guards) to turn Jason into a vamp, Jessica is able to clue Jason in on what is happening and he gets the drop on the vamp goons by blasting them with wooden bullets. Jess then lets Jason know that Russell is after Sookie again. Jess then runs to Fangtasia looking for a place to hide. She has a nice bonding moment with Tara and we are given the germ of an idea that Tara has a crush on her maker. Pam truly shines in these scenes with many awesome lines delivered in her singular style.
Vampire Blanche Devereaux shows up to ruin the awesome looking for who killed her spawn (the douchebag sheriff). Pam takes the blame for it and she and the easily found Jess are then forcibly returned to Authority HQ.
Fairies Are Only Slightly Less Useless Than Werewolves
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The grand high muckety-muck of the fairies arrives and turns out to be Wallace’s mom from Veronica Mars. She is oddly eccentric, dancing around and yapping about pop music acts like Ke$ha, She also may be the dumbest fairy who ever lived based on her going out to face Russell one on one like she had some sort of master plan and getting drained of all her life force in less than 2 minute’s time. Now a fairy boosted Russell can see the secret doorway to Club Moulin Rouge which means Sookie and her fairy cousins collective asses are grass. are caught in Authority HQ while in human form
Assorted Shenanigans & Tomfoolery
Alcide did yard work shirtless (why exactly is he so scruff from the neck up but manscaped to within an inch of his life from the neck down?) then he and his dear old dad killed some baby vamps. Andy and Holly’s relationship is progressing to the next level just in time for Maurella to show up looking for her baby daddy. Luna and Sam get mistaken for vamp food when they are caught in Authority HQ while in human form. Sam and the recently captured Pam have one of the funniest exchanges of the hour too. Oh and Lafayette is a bitch not a snitch.
Best Character of the Week: Pam
She had so many great lines and her scenes with Tara and Jessica are always good for a few laughs.
Worst Character of the Week: Werewolves
Still not giving a damn about any werewolf happenings.
Final Verdict: The episode was too short and nothing much of consequence really happened. I am anticipating a lot of stuff to be crammed into next week’s episode that they failed to get to this week. Aside from Russell and the soon to be fairy buffet, the vibe of the show did not feel like we were so close to having these stories wrap up. B-