As great an actor as Samuel L. Jackson is there has always been one thing that has made me look sideways at the dude in some movies and that is the various wigs and facial hair attachments that he has utilized. I don’t think any actor in the history of Hollywood has been saddled with more ridiculous hair accessories and then challenged to go out and make the audience disregard just how stupid the hair styles look. So here is my list of Top 7 hair don’ts that Sam has had to overcome in his movie career.

7. Jules in PULP FICTION
Jules is a classic character and Pulp Fiction is arguably the best movie of the 1990s but that Jheri Curl wig was something else. It had so much body to it…a Jheri Curl in that much hair would more than likely hang like Rick James’ used to do but Jules had that shit all poofed up and blown out. He must have used a ton of hair spray in tandem with the activator.

6. Roland in JUMPER
Sam was channeling the essence of Dru Hill‘s Sisqo divided by a bit of ex-WWE wrestler Shelton Benjamin for this role in which we get the pleasure of seeing Sam in a platinum Ceasar cut.

5 – TIE. Ordell in JACKIE BROWN & Louis in SOUL MEN
The looks for these two movies are interchangeable. Its basically an afro that has had a straightening comb run through it and some VO5 rubbed in it. Sam did give a little variety with the facial hair though. In Jackie Brown he went with an Asian influenced chin ponytail while he just did the classic soul patch in Soul Men.

4. Elijah in UNBREAKABLE
My favorite M. Night Shyamalan movie saw Sam rocking a Frederick Douglass-esque asymmetric fro. Conveys a definite air of “I don’t give a fuck about combing my hair” to the general public.

3. Sultan in THE GREAT WHITE HYPE
A platinum blond shaggy Beatles do? Really? Who thought that would be a good look? And then he would add to the nonsense by slapping a turban on through 90% of the film. Sam deserved hazard pay for that one.

2. Elmo in FORMULA 51
Dude was looking like Latrell Sprewell circa 1999.

1. Octopus in THE SPIRIT
The Spirit was a supremely shitty movie but Sam was so over the top insane in it that I tend to watch it just for his scenes. A major part of his insanity was this new age Sho Nuff the Shogun of Harlem meets Samurai Jack topknot with some robust porkchop sideburns thrown in for good measure.