Ah, the STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL. It is something that stirs angry feelings of resentment and revulsion in diehard Star Wars fans while to others it is just a reminder of how the TV landscape in the 1970s was a truly kooky time where anyone and everything seemed to be ripe to be given a variety show. And while I certainly do admit that the special was a horror show with some truly terrible parts (like the fact that the Life Day ceremony looked like a Glamour Shots photo), I also have some pretty fond memories of certain things that I actually enjoyed (for any number of reasons from thinking it was unintentionally hilarious to my own innate love of kitsch and camp). And it is with the holiday spirit in mind and a desire to be nice and not naughty that I compiled this little list of the 5 things I love about the STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL.
5. Marty Balin of Jefferson Starship Singing Into A Lightsaber Dildo
The folks behind the special were hellbent on making sure that music played a big part of a galaxy far, far, away and to that end they brought in the rock band Jefferson Starship (formerly known as Jefferson Airplane but funny enough not the future band called Starship) to do a music video that all of the Empire would stand around monitors to watch as if it were an episode of the TV show EMPIRE. In this hodgepodge of nonsense adding a rock band to the proceedings wasn’t really that big of a deal but the problem arose when the decision was made to have lead singer Marty Balin in silhouette holding a microphone that looked liked an uncircumcised penis and then the problem was compounded when Marty came out of the shadows and his penis mic turned into a lightsaber dildo…which he proceeded to sing into for the duration of the (admittedly catchy) song.