Friday the 13th Week: 6 Reasons Why The 2009 Friday The 13th Reboot Sucked

They Made Jason A Weed Farmer

The movie opens with Jason butchering a bunch of goobers who came to Camp Crystal Lake looking for weed crop at the end of the rainbow. And this was a flourishing weed crop that Jason cultivated. I envision Mr. Voorhees being the marijuana selling version of Heisenberg. He probably was supplying the entire Eastern seaboard with top notch bud that he gave awesome names like “Crystal Lake Kush” and “Decapitation Diesel”. But in all seriousness, how goofy is it that Jason Voorhees would be using weed as a way of luring pothead millennials to their gruesome ends? Seems like a disfigured and anti-social dude like Jason wouldn’t be all that interested in becoming the Weed Man for the citizens around Crystal Lake.

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