True Blood Season Five: In The Beginning
This Week Pam’s hair looked like this:
Frightening isn’t it?
Category: TV Reviews
True Blood Season Five: Hopeless
True Blood Season Five: Let’s Boot & Rally
Tara and Jessica: VFFs
Pam has dressed Tara up like a S&M tranny hooker and is making her work the bar at Fangtasia. Tara still has to work on her impulse control though since she tried to drain a patron after only being on the job for 5 seconds. Pam admonishes her progeny very sharply which makes Jess feel sorry for them baby vamp. Jess and Tara bond over being turned without their consent and the heightened senses that can be overwhelming. And also how awesome it is to drink blood from the tap.
A little later Hoyt shows up to very desperately offer himself to Tara. She shoots him down at first but the next time we visit Fangtasia Tara is sucking the living daylights out of Hoyt’s neck. Luckily for the heartbroken hillbilly, Jessica is in the next stall getting her drink on and is able pull Tara off him before she drains him dry. Yes, folks…we have ourselves a bonafide vampire catfight!
Continue reading “True Blood Season Five: Let’s Boot & Rally”
True Blood Season Five: We’ll Meet Again
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Pam stops Tara from killing herself on the tanning bed and compels her to refrain from any more attempts at suicide. she then takes her child back to Fangtasia where Bill and Eric are waiting for them. While Bill and Tara go into the other room, Eric forcefully questions Pam to see if she is the one who helped dig up Russell Edgington. Pam didn’t do it and she is mightily pissed at Eric for even thinking she would. Eric tries to be all cold-blooded and haughty but eventually he warms up and makes the ultimate sacrifice to ensure Pam’s safety by freeing her from the maker bond so that she won’t be swept up in the whole Vampire Authority/Russell Edginton fracas that Eric is confident will end in his own death.
Bill and Tara’s conversation really went nowhere since she was being a big twat (mainly about Sookie). Later on, after a nice nap, Pam wakes Tara and gets her to feed on a living breathing human. Tara attacked fresh blood with serious gusto and her schooling on Vampire Existence 101 has begun.
Bill goes back to his mansion to look for listening devices since that would have to be the only way anyone outside of him, Eric, Pam and Alcide would have known about Russell. he also has a touching father/daughter moment with Jessica moment.
True Blood Season Five: Whatever I Am You Made Me
Did anyone else notice the ridiculously high amount of super-speedy vampire hijinks in this past episode? It seemed like every 20 seconds a vampire was using vamp speed to run out of a scene, run back into a scene, text, type and pretty much every other act under the sun. Don’t believe me? Well I put together a compilation video of all the accelerated vampiness to prove my point:
Continue reading “True Blood Season Five: Whatever I Am You Made Me”
True Blood Season Five: Authority Always Wins
Continue reading “True Blood Season Five: Authority Always Wins”
True Blood Season Five: Turn! Turn! Turn! Review
Season 5 of True Blood is upon us, children. Rejoice! This season promises the return of Dennis O’Hare as Russell Edgington, the arrival of Christopher Meloni as the head dog of The Vampire Authority and hopefully a 100% reduction of fairies. So without further ado let’s get this party started!
Continue reading “True Blood Season Five: Turn! Turn! Turn! Review”
The Walking Dead: Beside the Dying Fire Review
We open this episode with a flashback to days of yore (Season One Episode One to be precise), where the helicopter that Rick saw upon entering Atlanta is now being seen from the vantage point of a bunch of walkers. The whirlybird is quite the attention grabber as every zombie within eye and ear shot decides to follow in the general direction the ‘captor was heading in. Herds being herds they pick up some stragglers along the way and show us that the undead are operating on ZPT (Zombie People Time) since it took them forever to finally arrive at Green Acres. And arrive they did, just in time to hear Carl bust a cap in Shane’s massively lobed head. The scene where the horde of zombies all keep pushing against the fence until it falls was cool and epitomized the awesome relentless nature of zombies.
Continue reading “The Walking Dead: Beside the Dying Fire Review”
The Walking Dead: Better Angels Review
Dale’s dead and some of our friends on Green Acres have decided to do what most of us do when dealing with the death of a loved one…namely go HAM on a stray pack of Walkers. Shane, Andrea, Darryl, and T-Dog (remember him?) open several can’s of whoop ass on these shambling undead fools and teach them that they better not never bring their punk asses on their turf again! Pitchforks are shoved through faces, mudholes are stomped, and brains are splattered all while Rick’s eulogy of the dearly departed Dale serves as our voice over of the festivities. Then we are back to Dale’s funeral where Rick reflects on Dale’s admonition that the group was broken and vows that they will all prove that dead know-it-all wrong by pulling together and getting their heads out of their collective asses. He also makes mention of Dale’s “look” which made me laugh hysterically because Dale’s look is one of the things that I will miss most about the character. Cue theme music and opening credits!
The Walking Dead: Judge, Jury, Executioner Review
“Judge, Jury, Executioner” can be summed up as a split show featuring a day in the life of Dennis the Menace during the zombie apocalypse and a bare bones production of “12 Angry Men” put on by the Herschel Greene Improvisational Players.
Continue reading “The Walking Dead: Judge, Jury, Executioner Review”
The Walking Dead: 18 Miles Out Review
“18 Miles Out” can be described as a tale of two plots. One plot is action-packed and riveting while he other is dull and harkens back to the not so halcyon days of lounging around Herschel’s fair navel gazing with intermediate forays into the woods to search for Sophia…all the things about the first half of this season that made the viewer want to change the channel. Plot A focuses on Rick and Shane as they attempt to drop off Randall (the guy who got impaled on the fence last week) somewhere that he can have a chance to survive but not close enough that he can make his way back to the farm. Plot B focuses on Beth (who is no longer catatonic but still has the personality of doorknob) and the other women of the group except for Carol and Mrs Otis.
The Walking Dead: Triggerfinger Review
Episode 2×09 picks up with Lori coming to in her overturned car with a very determined zombie trying to shove his head through a hole in her driver side window. This is a pretty cool bit of zombie shenanigans with the zombie so voraciously wanting to get to Lori that he is slicing flesh from his face as he keeps shoving his head through the broken window. Lori tries to climb out the other side of the car but her spindly limbs are totally incapable of holding her 89lbs so she has to get creative and breaks off the gear shift to shove into the zombies orbital socket. Now outside of the car and seemingly safe from danger, Lori doesn’t notice the second zombie shambling towards her until he actually gets his hands on her (how she didn’t hear him considering the foley artist went haywire with the zombie squishy moving noises is a mystery to me) but it didn’t matter because Lori went 2 for 2 in the zombie killing decathlon by taking the second zombie out even easier than she did the first. I am starting to wonder about just what the military was doing when the zombie outbreak began because if the poster child for “heroin chic” can dispatch two of the undead while possibly reeling from the effects of a concussion then there is no reason why a well-trained, heavily armed military force couldn’t have averted the zombie apocalypse completely.
Crustula 